How to Find a Sober Roommate on Long Island
Key Points
- Having a sober roommate can be advantageous to people recovering from substance use disorder, especially for those in early recovery.
- Some individuals in recovery, including those on Long Island, experience challenges finding a suitable roommate, but both local and national resources are available.
- In New York, 12-step meetings like AA and NA meetings can be good places to find sober roommates as attendees tend to have similar goals for sobriety.
- Halfway houses and sober living homes can be good for those individuals looking for a more structured living situation with a built-in support group.
- Searching online directories and databases, as well as relying on word of mouth, are also effective strategies for finding a sober roommate on Long Island.
There are many resources at both the national and local levels that can help you find a sober roommate on Long Island. Think websites, non-profit organizations, and support groups. With some research, luck, and meaningful connections, you’ll be well-equipped to design a living arrangement that supports your long-term sobriety goals.
Why Find a Sober Roommate on Long Island?
For people in recovery, a sober roommate is critical to wellbeing and recovery success. You’ll find it much easier to stick to your sobriety goals if you’re not surrounded by drugs, alcohol, or risky living in your daily environment. These experiences have no place in a sober home.
A sober roommate can be like having a built-in support system. Over time, you may find that living the sober life is easier when you’re doing it alongside someone else with a similar mindset. If you build a bond with your roommate, the two of you can provide each other with both practical and emotional support as you navigate your recovery journey. It could make the difference between feeling independent and confident versus lonely and vulnerable.
What Type of Housing Do I Need?
After rehab, stable housing and a safe living environment is essential. Before looking for a roommate, it’s important to consider the type of environment you need. Generally, people in early recovery need a more structured environment such as a halfway house or sober living home.
If you choose one of these options, you’ll likely be assigned a roommate. These facilities often offer additional services such as group mental health services, social services, individual counseling, career services, and more. They also set house rules for residents to follow, which could help you develop a routine that fosters sobriety.
After you’ve been sober for a while, it may be time to try living independently. In this case, having a sober roommate may be beneficial on multiple levels. Consider the resources below when looking for a sober roommate on Long Island or the surrounding areas.
Attend New York AA Meetings
Peer recovery groups provide opportunities to meet other people experiencing similar challenges. Many people in recovery find their sober roommate at a local AA meeting or local NA meeting. [1] Oftentimes, you’ll find people at Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings in the same situation you’re in who need a roommate.
Attend meetings regularly. This not only supports recovery, but it can also help you get to know others in the group. Introduce yourself to the regulars and newcomers alike. Ask around to see who else is looking for housing solutions. It’s likely there’s someone else looking for a sober roommate as well, or they may know someone who is.
Consider Halfway Houses
Halfway houses are public facilities designed to support individuals with a mental health condition, including those with substance use disorder or drug addiction. [2] They’re meant to provide a halfway-point between hospitalization and independent living that helps an individual transition back into society after rehabilitation.
In Long Island, halfway houses are operated under the supervision and guidance of the New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports. [3] There may be eligibility requirements that an individual must meet in order to stay at a halfway house on Long Island. For example, you might need to be single and fall within a certain income bracket.
Look into Local Sober Living Homes
If you’re in need of a sober roommate, you may consider a sober living home, sometimes called recovery housing. These residential facilities often provide housing for multiple individuals in recovery, and they have a zero-tolerance policy for drugs and alcohol.
When considering recovery homes, make a list of both your needs and preferences. Different facilities may provide different services or varying levels of structure. For example, nearly all sober living facilities have a house manager and most have curfews for residents. Be sure to visit the home prior to making a decision, so you’ll know what to expect from the living environment before you move in.
Try MySoberRoommate
MySoberRoommate.com is a website that grants you access to a large database of people like you who are also looking for a sober roommate. It’s free and easy to use. Just enter some information such as where you want to live, your budget, age, pet preferences, etc. Select whether you need a room or you need to fill a room.
Browse prospective roommates who meet your desired criteria. Whether you’re looking for a roommate in Long Island, Brooklyn, Nassau County, Uniondale, or Hempstead, this directory may help you find someone with a similar mindset and housing goals when it comes to substance use.
Safety Guidelines for Finding a Sober Roommate
When using an online directory or social media to find a potential roommate, you may need to be aware of certain safety concerns. For example, you might want to meet prospective roommates in a public place before sending money or signing a lease. Bring a friend or family member with you, and schedule your meeting during daylight hours.
You may want to consider running background checks or asking for a photo ID from potential roommates. These precautions may feel socially awkward, but they could prevent you from becoming the victim of a scam, or worse.
Tap Your Community for Referrals
Word-of-mouth may be the safest way to find a roommate in Long Island. Ask your friends, family members, and trusted co-workers if they know anyone who is looking for a roommate. Be sure to specify that you’re looking for a sober roommate or someone who is also in recovery.
This can help broaden your network of trusted individuals with whom you can share a drug-free residence. Even if you don’t know the individual personally, it could help you feel more comfortable knowing you have a mutual friend or acquaintance.
How to Choose the Best Sober Roommate and Living Environment
Finding a supportive living environment after a formal treatment program can be challenging for those in recovery. Whether you decide on a halfway house, sober living home, or independent living may depend on your budget, the stage of recovery you’re in, and your personal preferences. Whichever you choose, having a sober roommate can provide companionship, encouragement, and solidarity along the recovery journey.
Frequently Asked Questions About How to Find a Sober Roommate on Long Island
How long can someone stay in a sober living house?
Different recovery homes may have different rules, but generally, you can stay as long as you like provided you’re following the house rules and remaining sober. Conversely, halfway houses tend to have more limited resources and therefore, may have a maximum length of stay for residents.
Do you have a roommate in sober living?
Most of the time, yes. The philosophy of most sober living homes supports communal living. The idea is that living closely alongside someone with similar goals can be motivating and help you stay on track to long-term sobriety. However, some sober living homes offer private rooms, though they tend to be more expensive.
Do sober living homes need to be licensed in the state of New York?
No. However, the New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports offers a voluntary certification program for those recovery programs that desire to earn a certificate. These certificates may be an indication of quality since facilities undergo a review process.
Can you have visitors in a sober living house?
Generally, yes. However, some sober living houses may have specific rules for visitors. For instance, visits may need to be scheduled in advance during certain visiting hours. Moreover, some recovery homes only allow family members to visit residents.
Is finding a sober roommate on Long Island difficult?
It can be. However, resources such as directories, databases, 12-step programs, and charitable organizations exist to help people in recovery find a like-minded roommate to support their recovery goals. You can also lean on your own support system, such as friends, family, co-workers, and religious organizations to help you in your search for a roommate.
Sources
[1] Find New York AA meetings near you. Sober.com. (n.d.). https://sober.com/aa-meetings/new-york/
[2] Reis, A. D., & Laranjeira, R. (2008, December). Halfway houses for alcohol dependents: From theoretical bases to implications for the organization of facilities. Clinics (Sao Paulo, Brazil). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2664286/
[3] Permanent supportive housing providers. Office of Addiction Services and Supports. (n.d.). https://oasas.ny.gov/providers/housing